Well if I can survive this stress with Ella I guess I can handle anything. I honestly do not know how parents handle life threatening illnesses with their children - how my heart breaks for them. Ella's illness is NOT life threatening but it is agonizing to watch. It has been so life changing. I feel like we have no social life and I worry what this is doing to Ella in regards to her social and academic skills. We do work on our school skills daily if she feels up to it but the social skills at this age are so important and I worry about that. I worry she is loosing friends, being forgotten. I know that is just a 'worry' of mine because I know how much her school friends and her other friends love her but I feel so out of touch with that side of life. Anyways, that is what was heavy on my heart today.
Reading my devotional today first hit a nerve but then gave me some comfort. The title was "Giving Thanks in Everything". How can I give thanks to God for Ella's pfapa syndrome?! I keep asking why we are dealing with this. Haven't I have been dealt enough in this life? Why would God give such an already fragile, high anxiety mother a child with a reoccurring illness? Is He using my daughter to get my attention to change, to better myself? These questions cross my mind daily. I don't know the answers but my devotional helped with a little clarity.
Charles Stanley writes, "Why would God command us to thank Him regardless of the circumstances?...We must realize that thankfulness is not based on emotions or a situation's outcome. We can be grateful even during trials, because God has promised to work all things for our good. That means He has a purpose in mind for each experience, whether pleasant or difficult. A big problem stacked against our small resources sends us running to Him, thankful He has committed to work it to our benefit. The believer's part is to trust God."
I trust you God! Please work this out soon :)
I hope Ella's day is better today! :)
ReplyDeleteJust came across your blog. My son has PFAPA. The predinsone worked to almost immediately stop the fever for that episode, but the fevers starting returning sooner. We go to the point where we felt he was getting too much prednisone. We found an Infectious Disease dr. and an ENT dr. at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN that agreed to take out his tonsils. This was in Aug 2013. We have not had one fever since. I feel every single one of your worries and stress that you feel for your daughter. I was there. If a tonsillectomy with adenoidectomy is an option for your family, I would highly suggest trying it. It was a quality of life saver for us. To not have constant worry over your child is priceless.
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