It's the Little Things

Brief update on Ella - still high fevers - they rose to 105 this afternoon. She had bad chills and was very sleepy and extremely grouchy (but who can blame her). She was treated with tyl and motrin throughout the day because that was all I could do to provide comfort for her (other than just holding her which she loves and I love). I was able to get breakfast and some dinner (and several snacks) in her. She, thankfully, drinks a lot. But it's got to be icy cold water.

I wanted to end today on a positive note. Earlier I wrote that I felt like I was down all the time. I definitely have more down moments than I do up moments these days, but today God provided a few smiles on my face.

Ben had to travel to Carrollton today for his job and me and the kids were on our own. Obviously, we need Ben to put his job first because he is our breadwinner (and health insurance provider), but it is tough when he is gone. It's scary sometimes to deal with some high fevers on my own. Ella hit a 105 today and I literally lost it (though after I got her settled and asleep). I cried so hard. I was reminded of my teaching days. Days that you have to hold it together because so many other people depend on you. You have to hide your emotions and put on a happy face. Then when you have a brief moment to yourself you feel how you really feel inside. I do hold it together when Ella and Hayes are needing me. It's hard and draining (even on good healthy days) but today was tough. When I had a moment to myself I let myself feel the pain. I needed it. I prayed so hard for God to just give a little light to shine through, just a little to let me know He was there and He was listening. He answered my prayer. No, Ella wasn't healed today, but she had moments where I saw her silly goofy self. I haven't seen that it a while and it brought comfort and smiles. Also, a dear friend, that I haven't talked to in a while, shed some wonderful words to me and I know with my whole heart it was God that provided it. Below is the song lyrics she sent me to read and it really helped me. Another friend brought my kids dinner (and me a treat too). That made me smile as well. It brought comfort. I know all I need to do is ask for help and many will be there for us, but that is very hard for me. I feel more at ease when I am the one helping as opposed to being the one helped. I need to get better at asking for help because I am sure learning the hard way that I can't do this alone. Anyways, I wanted to end today with a happy note - that little things can sure make a BIG difference in someone's day. Thank you friends!

Aaron Keys 'Sovereign Over Us'

V1
There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning, With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting, Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding, You’re teaching us to trust

CHORUS
Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

V2
You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace
Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me, Your promises are my delight

BR
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
Youʼre working for our good, Youʼre working for our good and for your glory